The Kama Spreadra

How to spread 'em, pair 'em, love 'em.

Your not-so-ancient guide to the art of pâté pleasure.

#1. The Classic
(a.k.a. The Missionary)

Reliable. Satisfying. A forever favorite.

Spread it thick on crusty bread, toast, crackers, anything vaguely carb-adjacent. Add a pickle or some sweet, sticky stuff if you're feeling saucy. Or don’t. Still divine.

#2. The Snack 
Board MVP

(a.k.a. The Exhibitionist)

Loves attention & delivers every time.

A full charcuterie spread: meat, cheese, chutney, crackers, fruit, and spotlight-stealing pâté. Bold. Beautiful. Always ready for a show.

#3. Not-So-Sloppy 
Seconds
(a.k.a. The Quickie)

HURRIED BUT DEEPLY SATISFYING

Take those leftovers and spoon or spread into your sandwich. Suddenly you’re mid-munch, mid-moan, wondering why lunch doesn’t always feel this good.

#4. The Breakfast Upgrade

(a.k.a. The Morning After)

somehow even better the next day.

Slather it on a bagel, top with a runny egg or avocado, and you're munching and moaning all over again.

#5. The Secret Sauce

(a.k.a. The Hidden Talent)

The Unexpected one, You're now craving!

Slip a spoonful into eggs, pasta, risotto, whatever needs a flavorful upgrade. No one knows it’s in there... but everyone’s feeling it.

#6 The Straight-Up

(a.k.a. The Midnight Move)

NO TALKING. NO PREP. PURE DESIRE.

Fridge light glowing. Spoon in hand. No pants, no patience. Just crave, scoop, and surrender.

Ready to experiment?

There’s no wrong way to spread.

And the only rule in the Kama Spreadra is this:
enjoy every lick, nibble, and satisfied moan!